I'm Sorry

So I felt like I was extra bitchy last week. Maybe it was because I was having those girl problems or maybe it was something else, I honestly don't know but whatever it was I am sorry. Sometimes it is extremely hard for me to keep my mouth shut because people just really PISS me off but I do realize I need to start learning how to turn CC off and just let people be because in life people will piss you off and sometimes there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. So to the people that I actually care about that I was bitchy to, I am sorry. To the people I don't really give a shit about, I can't say that I am sorry, so yea, sucks to be you. I know there is no excuse for being a bitch. It's kinda like when you black-out (not that I have EVER done this) and say some of the rudest shit. Just because you blacked-out doesn't make it OK that you said that shit. You still have to apologize and work on the type of person you are. Because let's be real here, the drunk you is the real you, so you should work on that or just go die. I look at the person I was during lent (aka like the first 2 days but who's counting) and the person that just says whatever she wants and I realize, for whatever reason, I am a little bit more happier as the lent girl. That doesn't really make sense but not a whole lot makes sense in this crazy head of mine, or in life. So people, do you know what I am going to try to do, (maybe Jayvis can help me out on this one cuz you love God) I am going to see if I can get someone to talk to this God character and ask him to extend Lent. Maybe not for everyone. Maybe just for me. Fo real tho, I will try to be a better Ceasal (so not how you spell it but that was a shout out to DanYELL). Sorry for the boring blog. I guess the few feelings I have in this cold, shriveled-up little heart of mine are extremely boring. My bad.
Well, let's see, how can we make this more entertaining. Today, I went to the Dodgers, Giants game. Felt like a complete and total traitor for rockin' a Dodger's cap but fuck it cuz it was effing hot and I was DRENCHED in sweat and you all would have done the same thing if you were me. Can I just say, Dodger's fans are fucking annoying and SOO not classy. If we had been at AT&T Park I would not have been shitting my pants because I was about to wear a Giants shirt. Had I been a Dodger fan at AT&T Park, I would have felt completely safe. Fuck you Dodgers! Fuck your announcer too. No one compares to Kruk and Kuip. Love those guys. I actually miss the Bay Area.
Oh, in case some of you people missed it, the last dog of my childhood passed away. Sad day, I know. Just another part of my childhood, GONE. Does anyone have a time machine? Or maybe like a stop time machine? Or maybe you found the fountain of youth? If so let me know please because I am SO sick of growing up. I'm almost 20 years old. Do you know what that means? Well I'll tell ya. It means that I am no longer a teenager. I can no longer fuck up and be like "I'm just a kid, I don't know any better" and then have the little sad puppy dog eyes going. No, no, no, 20 year olds cannot do that. No, now I have to smart and wise and make good choices. Let me ask ya, where does this wisdom come from? Does it just pop out your ass the day you turn 20? On May 17, "Oh hey wisdom! Where ya been my whole life?" Nothing good happens after the teenage years except, 21. Other than that, there ain't much else happening. They should just make a landmark age. Like at 29 you get a free car! I would look forward to that. That would be a fun age to reach. Otherwise 29 cannot be fun. It's one year closer to 30 which is one year closer to 100. Anything with a 9 in it is NEVER good news. 19 ain't no fun, trust me I'm 19 and it's not fun (Case and point). You're just being all worried about turning 20. We need to stop living in the past and future. Live in the now. Because tomorrow may not happen and yesterday has already passed and it's not like you can do anything about it (unless you found that time machine and in that case, let me know).

Deuces