Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Sheltered

Ahh the Sheltered. How beautiful a life they have led. Never having anything bad happen to them in their life. For those that haven't led a sheltered life, can you imagine what that would have been like? How different you would be right now at this exact moment that you read this blog? I...I can't even comprehend not knowing anything about anything. Now look here, at times yes life can suck, trust me I know, but can you imagine never having any tragedy in life? As the sign in my house says, "No Rain...No Rainbows." Life is kind of like the Tower of Terror, there are a plethora of ups and downs, some people have more downs than ups and vice versa and not one person leads the exact same life as another person. Now for some people a, let's say fractured foot, is a HUGE deal. To others this is just a temporary set back. I guess tragedy is relative to the person. Now it would be wrong of me to judge someone or make fun of someone because what they think is a BIG deal wouldn't really be a big deal to me. But let's be real, it's not in my nature to care...soo, pretty much you can suck my dick. Now I'm not saying I have led the most outrageous life EVER. I grew up in Pleasant Hill, California. There ain't a whole lot of outrageous going on up in that bitch. But I guess it's a lot more outrageous than I could have imagined because most the people that go to Chapman are pansies. A bunch of pansies I go to school with. They think that they are entitled to everything in life. GUESS what ya bunch of pansies, This shit ain't free!! Just because you were handed everything in your life thus far, doesn't mean you are going to continue to be handed shit in life. Well, you probably will because let's face it, life ain't fair and rich will continue to get richer as I get poorer. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that there should be some sort of life test at the end of adolescence and if you don't pass you should be sent to an island, kind of like Survivor meets survival of the fittest which basically is just a super powered Survivor without cameras, and would essentially become unsheltered. You would have to spend a year on that island and if you die in the process well then that sucks for you. And if you come out a winner, well good for you, your life will now be better and you will piss me off less. I think that is a splendid idea. If I ever become president (HAHAHAHAHA, that would be a sight to see) that would be the first policy I would implement. Forget about the economy, forget about health care and all that other silliness. This is an important issue my friends.
Look people, I'm not saying I'm perfect because I'm not, none of us are. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said,"If you think you are perfect, try walking on water." Now I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure that was some sort of a God reference, Jayvis help me out here. Look here bitch, bottom line if you act like an idiot, then I have every right in the world to call you such. So, moral of the story, if you don't want to be called an idiot...Don't act like one. That's some good life advice, I tell you. Any who, time to get out of your shell and do something. Stop being a little winey pansy bitch. Nobody likes a winey pansy bitch, not even a winey pansy bitch.

Done.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Guess Who's Back.

As the first week of my junior year comes to an end and I don't look forward to next week I sit and reminisce on the week that was and what the plethora of weeks to come will entail. I saw many familiar faces back at good ol' Chapman. When I say good I really do mean HORRIBLE...they charge me so far up the ass to go to this school that I can't even afford a car to get there. HEY Doty! While you're driving your Porsche or hovercraft or whatever else you drive to school let me borrow your helicopter please. I think that is the least you can do after taking all my money that you obviously don't need. Short little rat BASTARD! Oh Ohh! And don't even get me started on this fucking work study bullshit. 3 hours a week! 3 measly hours a week?! Are you kidding me?! How am I supposed to live off that shit?! OHHHHHHHHHH! Another thing is that stupid Argyros parking lot bidding bullshit. Can I just say, UGHHHHHHHHH! Not only is parking $290 then you're gonna do some stupid bidding bullshit so that the rich can have better parking spots and the peasants can fend for themselves and be all stressed out,"Ahhhh, I can't find a parking spot, so now I'm going to fail! Ahhh." This is BULLSHIT. So I guess what they say is true...life really isn't fair. The rich keep getting richer and I keep getting poorerrrr. The news was on campus today for God knows what(Jayvis, if you speak to God tonight ask him why they were on campus ok?) and I really wanted to run up to them and be like ohhh interview me, interview me!!! And then go off about this stupid ass school and how even if I wanted to transfer I really couldn't because most the credits don't even fucking transfer and then I would be so far behind that my brain might actually self combust. Ohh, it feels so good to be back my bitches. There will be many upon many special blogs to come. So I will have to tell you about the reminiscing some other time. I will try to keep them as eventful and as regular as possible because let's face it, my pain is your pleasure.
Good Night Everyone!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I'm Sorry

So I felt like I was extra bitchy last week. Maybe it was because I was having those girl problems or maybe it was something else, I honestly don't know but whatever it was I am sorry. Sometimes it is extremely hard for me to keep my mouth shut because people just really PISS me off but I do realize I need to start learning how to turn CC off and just let people be because in life people will piss you off and sometimes there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. So to the people that I actually care about that I was bitchy to, I am sorry. To the people I don't really give a shit about, I can't say that I am sorry, so yea, sucks to be you. I know there is no excuse for being a bitch. It's kinda like when you black-out (not that I have EVER done this) and say some of the rudest shit. Just because you blacked-out doesn't make it OK that you said that shit. You still have to apologize and work on the type of person you are. Because let's be real here, the drunk you is the real you, so you should work on that or just go die. I look at the person I was during lent (aka like the first 2 days but who's counting) and the person that just says whatever she wants and I realize, for whatever reason, I am a little bit more happier as the lent girl. That doesn't really make sense but not a whole lot makes sense in this crazy head of mine, or in life. So people, do you know what I am going to try to do, (maybe Jayvis can help me out on this one cuz you love God) I am going to see if I can get someone to talk to this God character and ask him to extend Lent. Maybe not for everyone. Maybe just for me. Fo real tho, I will try to be a better Ceasal (so not how you spell it but that was a shout out to DanYELL). Sorry for the boring blog. I guess the few feelings I have in this cold, shriveled-up little heart of mine are extremely boring. My bad.
Well, let's see, how can we make this more entertaining. Today, I went to the Dodgers, Giants game. Felt like a complete and total traitor for rockin' a Dodger's cap but fuck it cuz it was effing hot and I was DRENCHED in sweat and you all would have done the same thing if you were me. Can I just say, Dodger's fans are fucking annoying and SOO not classy. If we had been at AT&T Park I would not have been shitting my pants because I was about to wear a Giants shirt. Had I been a Dodger fan at AT&T Park, I would have felt completely safe. Fuck you Dodgers! Fuck your announcer too. No one compares to Kruk and Kuip. Love those guys. I actually miss the Bay Area.
Oh, in case some of you people missed it, the last dog of my childhood passed away. Sad day, I know. Just another part of my childhood, GONE. Does anyone have a time machine? Or maybe like a stop time machine? Or maybe you found the fountain of youth? If so let me know please because I am SO sick of growing up. I'm almost 20 years old. Do you know what that means? Well I'll tell ya. It means that I am no longer a teenager. I can no longer fuck up and be like "I'm just a kid, I don't know any better" and then have the little sad puppy dog eyes going. No, no, no, 20 year olds cannot do that. No, now I have to smart and wise and make good choices. Let me ask ya, where does this wisdom come from? Does it just pop out your ass the day you turn 20? On May 17, "Oh hey wisdom! Where ya been my whole life?" Nothing good happens after the teenage years except, 21. Other than that, there ain't much else happening. They should just make a landmark age. Like at 29 you get a free car! I would look forward to that. That would be a fun age to reach. Otherwise 29 cannot be fun. It's one year closer to 30 which is one year closer to 100. Anything with a 9 in it is NEVER good news. 19 ain't no fun, trust me I'm 19 and it's not fun (Case and point). You're just being all worried about turning 20. We need to stop living in the past and future. Live in the now. Because tomorrow may not happen and yesterday has already passed and it's not like you can do anything about it (unless you found that time machine and in that case, let me know).

Deuces

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Stupid People

Hello All!
I apologize for the absence of my blogging. I know you ALL check this bad boy everyday and are hanging on my every word. And I know you were secretly thinking to yourself, "Self, when the eff SeeSee bringing the blog back?!" Well you can tell your self that the blog is back bitch! And the topic for this gorgeous night is stupid people. Damn sarcasm doesn't really work on this thing but hopefully you all will get it (the sarcasm was referring to "this gorgeous night." It's not a gorgeous night. It's fucking freezing.)

Stupid people piss me off. Why are you so stupid? Why are you talking? Why don't you do us all a favor and just go bury yourself in a hole some where far, FAR away? I feel that the reason these people act so effing stupid is they just want attention and have very, VERY low self esteem. But that's just Dr. CC's professional opinion. Can we please all take the time to think of ME as a doctor. Even better, a pediatrician! Oh man, would that be a hoot or what. But anywho, we all know I am just street smart and could never make it in the cut throat world of medicine. The type of stupid people I am currently referring to would be the type of people that like to just randomly butt in on a conversation that had NOTHING to do with them. I mean it's ok if you butt in and have something funny to say (Like Katie Terry saying, "Oh, I used to do that all the time!" As Katelyn spills water on her shirt at Taco Tuesday at EL TORITO. Katie Terry can butt in on any conversation I have and it will be ok with me). But it better be the funniest damn thing I ever heard in my life for you to butt in on my conversation. Otherwise keep your butt, face, mouth, and other body parts OUT of my conversation and perferably just away from me at all times because if I don't want you butting in I pretty much don't want to talk to you so stay the fuck away from me (Lent is over so I can say this). I do not like you and I'm sure it is not a new idea to ANYONE that I don't like you, so get the picture and fuck off. Actually you don't have to fuck off, just STOP TALKING and we'll be good.

The other type of stupid people I like to comment on and will comment on because this is motherfucking free country and I can do whatever I want and no one can stop me. Selfish motherfuckers is who I intend on commenting on. Selfish people that only care about themselves. You can't trust these people, trust me. They will end up stabbing you in the back and not giving a rat's ass that they did. If I could I would throw a rat's ass at them. But I would never want to pick up just a rat's ass. As a matter of fact I would never want to pick up any type of rat. But if I had to I would prefer that they whole body be intact because picking up just half a rat would be weird. These people piss me off to no extent. I don't understand how someone can go through life being that selfish and not have been punched in the face at least once. People! The world does not revolve around you. If you died, the world would not stop spinning. So don't act like it would. We should all strive to be less selfish. The first step in this process is admitting to ourselves and others that hey I can be a little selfish at times. Because it's true. It's human nature to be selfish and make sure that you are good before others. That's why in airplanes, they tell you to put your air mask on first and then worry about the people sitting next to you.

Other stupid people would be the one's that hate Barry Bonds. Don't hate, appreciate. Yes! He did take steroids. Yes! He was/probably still is an ass. But steroids or not you cannot deny that he was one of the best baseball players ever to play the game. Look at old videos of just his swing. That, my friends, is a B-E-A-Utiful swing! Just take it in and forget about the Roids. Forget about the fact that he was a total deutsch off the field and just appreciate the sheer beast of an athlete he was. Bring Barry Back!

We need to stop taking this beautiful gift of life that we have been given for granted. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Ferris is right my friends. We need to just stop and embrace the scenery. This could all be gone tomorrow. Be thankful for what you have because guess...your life could suck a lot more than you think it does. Try to enjoy life my friends, it only happens once.

Adios Amigos!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Flakes

No I am not talking about Frosted Flakes. I am talking about flaky ass people. What is your deal? Why is it so hard to come through on anything you say? What does this say about you as a person? Obviously you are not very reliable. Reliability equates to trust and trust equates to YOU ARE FLAKE! If you say, "Hey CC! Guess what. I am going to do the best thing in the world and take you to Disneyland on the Friday before Spring Break." AND THEN YOU DON'T! Flake, Flake, FLAKE! I kid, I kid Jayme Jarvis, I have forgiven you. Please don't feel bad. (Just don't ever do that again, I went home and cried myself to sleep that night, Just Throwing It Out There). But seriously, I don't understand why it is so hard to commit to something that you say you are going to do. How about this, stop saying you are going to do stuff because we all know that in the end you will not come through. Yet, I am so naive that I still hold out that hope that you will come through...and then you don't. You are really killin' me smalls! Stop it! We can not be friends if you are going to be a flake because I have this problem where when people don't do stuff that they say they are going to do then I get angry. I know, it's a weird problem to have but what can I do. As I sit here watching Titanic for the umpteenth time, I realize something...I have seen this movie way too many times. I just can't help it people! I have an addiction to their love, and always hope that they turn in time but they never do.

Hey Party People. Stop being a flake, it's not attractive and that is what we are all after now isn't it? This time I actually do care (I know that that goes against all my other blogs but I can't help it) and it really does hurt my feelings (the few that I actually have). Stop hurting my feelings! Because after all everything does revolve around my feelings and how I feel doesn't it? People wonder why I am such a bitch, it's because of you flakes! It is not my fault! Nothing is my fault!

Hasta Luego

Monday, March 22, 2010

She Was No Where Near Me!

Today, I would like to comment on DRAMA QUEENS. Bitches and hoes my friends, bitches and hoes. Why not just play the game it should be played and quit with the effing BS. You people are the reason that I get bitchy during Lent. It is not entirely my fault that I am bitchy. Stupid people act stupid all the damn time. Stop being a pansy, man-up, and suck it up. I DIDN'T IMPEDE SHIT! If I had impeded you, bitch, then why not run into instead of avoiding the contact all together you wimpy baby. Bitches and Hoes. I would like to nominate her for best actress on a softball field. "And the softie goes to...the shortstop for Williams!" There should totally be a softball awards! I bet there is and they just haven't invited me yet. Oh, but this year I will be there, front and center. I would thank God right now, if I could, that we won by 10 billion. Had we lost by one, shit would have gone down. Bitches and Hoes.

I suppose life is going to be full of drama queens. People! Stop acting a damn fool. You just look stupid, and let's remember that CC (that's me) gets bitchy when people act stupid so really we can blame those bitches and hoes for me sucking at this whole Lent thing. Why can't we all just be more like Jayme Jarvis (aka not stupid, actually you are just street smart)? Bitches and Hoes.

I would like to revert back to a previous "Blog." Nobody gives a flying fuck about you. Remember the girl who cried wolf. I think we all remember that. STOP CRYING WOLF! One day it's not gonna be "Drama" and you will just be straight up hurt or something, and guess what, NO ONE is going to come to your rescue because 1) Nobody really gives a flying fuck about you and 2) You have done this shit so many times before that we all know that you will be ok in the end. Sooo, just get the fuck up, brush your shoulders off, and SUCK IT UP! I'm tired of the bullshit. I don't like bulls, so what would make you think I would like their shit?!

I HATE DRAMA QUEENS!

Next time that bitch comes near me, I think I will just punch her in the face. Do you think that would be impeding? Because I don't. Bitches and Hoes.

Cheerio!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

R.I.P. Oma and Every One Else Who Has Left Me

Death sucks! Why do people die? See this is why I do not believe in religion. Well I suppose I believe in religion because it does exist, BUT I don't do it! Why would God have people dying everywhere? It is stupid, there is absolutely no reason for death. Well, I take that back some people deserve to die and should die sooner and I don't really care how bad that sounds. How about rapists? They sure as all HELL deserve to die. How about child molesters? Fuck yes! How about that little fucker they like to call Adolf Hitler? He's just lucky I wasn't alive in the 40's or else I would have done things to him that should never even go through someone's mind. Let's just say his ass woulda got FUCKED UP! I hope that they really are shoving pineapples up his ass everyday like in Little Nicky, which by the way, everyone should watch that movie.

I am sorry to whom ever this may offend. I know that religion is a "touchy" subject for many folks. And there is no way to convince me otherwise that it is the right way to go, so don't try. Jayvis I know you love God and probably think I'm going to hell after all this. Who knows maybe that would be a good thing, then I could just chase Hitler around hell for the rest of eternity, trying to catch him. I hope he wouldn't be faster than me because that would not be good. But then again everyone's faster than me so he probably is, maybe not because he has been getting pineapples shoved up his ass since the 40's. That would sure as hell slow me down, I don't know about you. Maybe there is a reason that my car broke(and got stolen and broke even more) and now I have to ride my bike nearly everyday except for when very nice people give me rides. This is training me for hell. Ohhhh, well now it all makes sense. Thank you Jayme Jarvis! Jayvis! I would like you to imagine me chasing Hitler around hell. You will be looking down from Heaven and probably laughing your ass off. I like to think of your laugh as a giggle. Yes, your laugh is a giggle and it makes me giggle. Jayvis! You are just a bowl full of sunshine and bring light to my darkened day. Did you know the eyes are the gate way to the soul? Think about it people!

Many people, GOOD people, do not deserve to die. Nineteen year old Garland did not fucking deserve to die (I still miss you bro). My dog (literally, I mean my canine) did not deserve, nor need to die. Oma did not need nor deserve to die. Sorry peeps for the somewhat depressing Blog. I'll try better tomorrow. Until then, be happy you are not dead. (Just throwing it out there)

R.I.P. Oma, Good Night and Good Luck.